> x hay
Steve looks through the hay, trying to find a brick to throw at the chicken. As he throws the hay up in the air, you spot a small spade leaning against the wall.

> take spade
You take the spade from off the wall and stick it in your enormously large pocket.

"Hey, that's my spade!" Steve screams at you.

"Steve, do you even know what a spade is." You reply, knowing Steve has no idea what he's talking about.

"Sure I do...it's for spading!" He shouts, thinking he's right.

"Steve, you just keep on looking for that brick. I'll take the spade." You reply calmly.

"Well...ok. But for my birthday, you'd better get me a spade!" Steve replies, and then goes back to pointlessly looking for the brick.

> north
You move north.

You're standing in the front yard of the old abandoned farm. Back in '78, the man who owned this place choked to death on a spoon, and this place has been empty ever since. All that's left now are the unpicked weeds, the unpainted shed, and the large rock in the center of the yard, which seems to be a comet that hit Earth. To the North is the house, to the East is the garden, and South is the Chicken Coop, where the chicken plans his evil deeds.

> east
You move east.

The small garden used to grow carrots, potatos, and a weird breed of vegetable called "Muckshot", but now it's just a big pile of dirt. And this isn't even interesting dirt like you see at all the dirt farms, this is bottom of the barrel dirt, stuff that even a hobo wouldn't sleep on.

> dig in dirt
You jam the spade into the dirt, and shovel like there's a big shoveling competition going on. Soon, you discover a large chainsaw at the bottom. (Note: Please, ignore the fact that finding a chainsaw at the bottom of a garden is illogical. A game about a two-nosed chicken isn't supposed to be realistic.)

> west
You move west.

You're standing in the front yard of the old abandoned farm. Back in '78, the man who owned this place choked to death on a spoon, and this place has been empty ever since. All that's left now are the unpicked weeds, the unpainted shed, and the large rock in the center of the yard, which seems to be a comet that hit Earth. To the North is the house, to the East is the garden, and South is the Chicken Coop, where the chicken plans his evil deeds.

> x weeds
The large unpulled weeds reach high into the air and blow in the wind. Deep in the weeds, you can see the glimmer of a key.

> take key
You grab the key from the weeds and jam it into your pocket.

"Damn, I'm good," you say outloud, but no one's around to hear it.

> open door
You unlock the door and enter the house.

> look
What's left of the house is now in front of you. It seems that the wall with the front door is all that's left of the house, because the only thing you see in front of you is a giant hole that's littered with chunks of wood and random debris.

"That chicken must have taken this place down with his evil powers. He is so dead." You think to yourself.

> x debris
Large chunks of debris litter the ground where the house once stood. Dear god, that chicken must have evil powers. The only thing not destroyed by the chicken was a hammer, which was luckily kept safe because it was covered by the remains of an old staircase.

> take hammer
Looking around to see no one's watching, you grab the hammer and then begin dancing.

"It's Hammer Time!" You shout, doing the worst MC Hammer impression the world has ever seen.

> south
You move south.

You're standing in the front yard of the old abandoned farm. Back in '78, the man who owned this place choked to death on a spoon, and this place has been empty ever since. All that's left now are the unpicked weeds, the unpainted shed, and the large rock in the center of the yard, which seems to be a comet that hit Earth. To the North is the house, to the East is the garden, and South is the Chicken Coop, where the chicken plans his evil deeds. The unpainted shed now lies open, ready to be entred to the West.

> use chainsaw on shed
Using your great cutting skills, you manage to cut through the shed and free the door. If only your chainsaw instructor was alive to see this, he'd be proud.

> west
You move west.

The first thing you realize about the shed, is that it's not really a shed, just a shelf. There's nothing else in here, even the floor is spotlessly clean. One measly shelf. Man, the farmer who owned this place was a big idiot.

> x shelf
There's a toolbox on the shelf. That still doesn't explain why the farmer would build the shed just to hold it.

> x toolbox
A small toolbox sealed with lock. Fiddling around with the lock, you realize it's made by Lock-O Corp, they make the weakest locks, breaking this should be a cinch.

> hit lock with hammer
Using your skills, you bash the hammer against the lock. The toolbox swings open, revealing a gun inside.

> take gun
You spin the gun in your finger and then slide it into your pocket.

"Mr. Chicken, prepare for your final cluck." You say in your action movie one liner tone.

> east
You move east.

You're standing in the front yard of the old abandoned farm. Back in '78, the man who owned this place choked to death on a spoon, and this place has been empty ever since. All that's left now are the unpicked weeds, the unpainted shed, and the large rock in the center of the yard, which seems to be a comet that hit Earth. To the North is the house, to the East is the garden, and South is the Chicken Coop, where the chicken plans his evil deeds. The unpainted shed now lies open, ready to be entred to the West.

> south
You move south.

I'm standing here, for no apparent reason, with my good friend Steve. Steve is currently looking through the hay on the floor for a brick, and given that none of the buildings within 30 miles of this place are made from brick, he's looking for a needle in a haystack.

As I turn away from Steve, I feel a burning sensation in my neck. I turn around to see the chicken standing in the corner of the barn, staring at me with his beady eyes and two large noses. I have to stop him before he uses his evil magic powers to ruin Christmas (Oh wait, I guess I went a little too far with that one) I can see a door to the North that leads out of this coop. Steve looks wildly through the hay, almost crying because he can't find one.

> shoot chicken
You pull out the gun and aim it at the chicken.

"I hope you have a good time in chicken hell!" You shout aloud, pulling the trigger.

You wait for the gunshot, but it never comes. You open the barrell of the gun, and find it's empty. You begin to panic! The chicken knows you tried to hurt him, he'll kill you!

"I found a brick!" Steve exclaims as he holds a brick up into the air.

Suddenly, everything goes slo-mo. You can see the brick slowly spinning in the air, flying towards the chicken. The brick smacks the chicken across the face, sending him flying backwards into the wall. Steve grins and then leaps into the air screaming something about eating the chicken. Suddenly, the slo-mo disappers, replaced by the sounds of sirens.

"What's that?" Steve says, his grin now gone.

Police bust into the chicken coop with drawn guns. They throw Steve against the wall, and then walk over to you.

"Sir, you're under arrest for poultrycide, put your hands in the air and turn around." The officer says to you, his gun aimed at your head.

You and Steve are carried off, both of you are sentenced to life in prison. That was the last time either of you threw a brick at something.





The story you have just read is true. The names were changed to protect the innocent.