> l
You're sitting in your seat in the back of the theatre. Far ahead you can see the Evil Chicken of Doom on stage, performing 'Ghostbusters 2' as a solo act. You turn in your chair, catching a glimpse of the aisle to the East. Unfortunately, you can't get there, as a large man in the seat next to you blocks any passage past him.

> x man
He's a hefty man, and he covers the entire area between his seat, and the back of the seat in front of him.

A strange stain covers the top of his jacket.

> i
You are carrying a book of matches.

> smell stain
The smell of gas comes off of the stain on the man's jacket.

> light man on fire
You light the match and toss it on the large man. The flames spread quickly on the gas soaked jacket, yet the large man doesn't seem to notice.

His wife pokes him in the side. "Harold, I think you're on fire."

The large man looks at his flaming jacket and nods. "Indeed I am. I'd better go see a doctor about this."

The large man then casually gets up and walks out of the theatre, his jacket still ablaze.

> x seat
You find it's a very comfy seat, with ample back support and 8 cupholders.

Underneath the seat, your hand finds the bottom covered in a variety of gum.

> get gum
Going against any good judgement, you pull off a still-sticky piece of gum. You really are a perfect example of hygeine.

> e
You head into the Aisle to the East.

> l
You're standing in the thin aisle leading to the stage. The Evil Chicken of Doom is still up there, still performing 'Ghostbusters 2'. Lights stretch across the ends of the aisle, giving you a better view of the dark red carpet. The Usher heads to the north.

> get crowbar
You bend down and grab the crowbar off the floor.

> n
You move north.
You're standing at the edge of the stage, which towers over you. The ledge of the stage casts a dark shadow over the area, making it hard to see. The darkness continues to the North, which leads underneath the stage itself. You can hear the Evil Chicken continuing with his act up above.

> x the usher
The thin usher wears a red suit, and a nametag simply naming him 'Usher'. A flashlight can be seen hanging off his belt.

> get flashlight
In the dark shadows at the bottom of the stage, you swipe the flashlight from the Usher.

> n
You try to turn the flashlight on, but two wires inside seem to have twisted apart. You'll have to fix them. The Usher heads to the south.

> fix flashlight
Using the gum, you manage to reconnect the two loose wires, fixing the flashlight.

> n
With the flashlight on, you head under the stage.

> l
You're in the dark shadows of the area under the stage. It's quiet under here, except for the pecks of the Chicken up above on the stage. You don't see much with the little light you have, but you do catch sight of the trapdoor on the ceiling that leads up to the stage.

> open trapdoor
Using the crowbar, you pry open the trapdoor, revealing the lights up in the rafters above the stage. Thinking fast, you pull yourself up on the stage, the audience gasps in fear.

"Aha! I finally caught you, you Evil Chicken!" you scream to the fearsome poultry.

You rip off the glasses off the Chicken's head, revealing his true identity.

"Oh my god! It's the Evil Chicken of Doom! All this time I just thought it was an average run-of-the-mill acting chicken! We must stop it!" a man screams from the audience.

But the Evil Chicken of Doom was prepared. He chants a bizarre cluck into the air, and the room begins to fill with the screams of thousands upon thousands of other chickens, who were hiding up in the rafters all along. The theatre is soon filled with the screams of pain, as the eyes of the audience members are pecked out by the ravaging poultry army.

You turn to face the Evil Chicken, who has pulled out a gun with his tiny feet. "So. You had an army of chickens waiting for me. I guess you knew I'd try to kill you at your play."

The Evil Chicken of Doom laughed, raising the gun into the air. A hook shot out of it, catching onto a beam jutting out of the wall. He flashed you an evil grin, and then was shot up into the air as the rope began to contract.

You walked past all of the screaming audience members, stepping out into the cool air of the city outside. The Chicken had one once again, using his genuine evilty to take down an entire theatre full of audience members.

But next time he won't be so lucky, because you were going to hit him where he couldn't hide...

In an alley behind Denny's.