> sw
You move southwest.
The kitchen of Desther's house is a pretty shoddy affair. It doesn't look like he's cleaned up in here in a long, long time. Lying on the floor, lying very still, is what appears to be a dead body. Aside from that there's the usual appliances you tend to find in a kitchen: oven, sink, fridge, etc. You can move south, west and northeast.

> open oven
You open the oven. A severed head is inside the oven.

> get head
You take the severed head from the oven.

> ne
You move northeast.
You're in the entrance of Desther's house, a large open area with a statue of the owner in one corner and a series of doors leading off to the rest of the house. You can move south, up and southwest.

> up
As you make your way up the stairs, you see a hideous apparition appear out of nowhere.

"Get down those damn stairs, pizza face!" it yells at you.

"Pizza boy not pizza face!" you yell back at it.

The ghost takes a swing for your head with a meat cleaver it's carrying. "Same thing if you ask me, spot. Either way, I ain't letting you up these stairs until you're dead."

> show head to ghost
The ghost takes one look at the head of the ugly fellow you found in the oven, gives a high pitched howl - and flees! Right through the nearest wall. Its meat cleaver hits the wall with a clang and drops onto the floor a bit further up the stairs.

> up
You move up.
This hallway winds around the entire second floor of Desther's floor. Overhead hangs a chandelier which has been set on fire. While you're not sure if this is a good idea or not, it does add some much needed light to a seriously gloomy location. Also here is a meat cleaver. You can move west, down, southeast and northwest.

> get meat cleaver
You pick up the meat cleaver.

> down
You move down.
You're in the entrance of Desther's house, a large open area with a statue of the owner in one corner and a series of doors leading off to the rest of the house. You can move south, up and southwest.

> sw
You move southwest.
The kitchen of Desther's house is a pretty shoddy affair. It doesn't look like he's cleaned up in here in a long, long time. Lying on the floor, lying very still, is what appears to be a dead body. Aside from that there's the usual appliances you tend to find in a kitchen: oven, sink, fridge, etc. You can move south, west and northeast.

> west
You move west.
You find yourself on the back yard. It is enclosed by tall fences which look pretty much unclimbable. The yard extends to a small wood not far from here. You can move east and west.

> west
You move west.
You're wandering around in a very dark location indeed. The ground is pretty much hidden from view and all you can see for a long, long way are trees. You can move east, southeast and southwest.

> sw
You move southwest.
You're wandering around in a very dark location indeed. The ground is pretty much hidden from view and all you can see for a long, long way are trees. You can move south and northeast.

> south
You move south.
You're wandering around in a very dark location indeed. The ground is pretty much hidden from view and all you can see for a long, long way are trees. Walter is here. You can move north and east.

> ask walter about anything
"Gah! These trees! They're creeping up on me, I tell you. Why, if I just had something to chop them down with! That'd teach the swines!"

> give meat cleaver to walter
"Ah, I'll soon deal with the swines with this!" Walter cries and takes a swing at a nearby tree. "There! See him cringe!"

"Very impressive," you say. "I think you've got 'em on the run there."

Walter gives you a hard stare. "No need to be patronising, pizza face. I might be old and senile but there's no need to treat me like I'm some sort of idiot. Anyway, here's your reward."

He hands you a golf ball.

"Not a golf ball," says Walter who can clearly read minds. "But a ghostly bomb. Just throw it at the first ghost you see and it'll scare the life out of him."

"I thought ghosts were already dead," you point out.

Walter frowns. "Good point. In which case, it'll almost certainly kill you outright. But not to worry, I'm sure you'll be fine. Right, who's next then? Ah, you!"

Walter ignores you completely and gives another tree a few hearty thwacks.

> north
You move north.
You're wandering around in a very dark location indeed. The ground is pretty much hidden from view and all you can see for a long, long way are trees. You can move south and northeast.

> ne
You move northeast.
You're wandering around in a very dark location indeed. The ground is pretty much hidden from view and all you can see for a long, long way are trees. You can move east, southeast and southwest.

> east
You move east.
You find yourself on the back yard. It is enclosed by tall fences which look pretty much unclimbable. The yard extends to a small wood not far from here. You can move east and west.

> east
You move east.
The kitchen of Desther's house is a pretty shoddy affair. It doesn't look like he's cleaned up in here in a long, long time. Lying on the floor, lying very still, is what appears to be a dead body. Aside from that there's the usual appliances you tend to find in a kitchen: oven, sink, fridge, etc. You can move south, west and northeast.

> ne
You move northeast.
You're in the entrance of Desther's house, a large open area with a statue of the owner in one corner and a series of doors leading off to the rest of the house. You can move south, up and southwest.

> up
You move up.
This hallway winds around the entire second floor of Desther's floor. Overhead hangs a chandelier which has been set on fire. While you're not sure if this is a good idea or not, it does add some much needed light to a seriously gloomy location. You can move west, down, southeast and northwest.

> nw
You move northwest.
To say that Desther spends his nights here, his bedroom is surprisingly sparse. In fact, aside from the bed and a window overlooking the street there is nothing much here at all. Cedrick is here. You can only move southeast.

> throw bomb at cedrick
The moment Cedrick sees the bomb he cries, "oh sh-" before being blown up. Very messily blown up as well. Bits of his ghostly essence litter the room afterwards.

> get key
You pick up the key.

> se
You move southeast.
This hallway winds around the entire second floor of Desther's floor. Overhead hangs a chandelier which has been set on fire. While you're not sure if this is a good idea or not, it does add some much needed light to a seriously gloomy location. You can move west, down, southeast and northwest.

> down
You move down.
You're in the entrance of Desther's house, a large open area with a statue of the owner in one corner and a series of doors leading off to the rest of the house. You can move south, up and southwest.

> sw
You move southwest.
The kitchen of Desther's house is a pretty shoddy affair. It doesn't look like he's cleaned up in here in a long, long time. Lying on the floor, lying very still, is what appears to be a dead body. Aside from that there's the usual appliances you tend to find in a kitchen: oven, sink, fridge, etc. You can move south, west and northeast.

> south
You move south.
You're standing at the top of a flight of steps which lead down into the darkness. At the side of you is a light switch. You can move north and down.

> down
You move down.
The cellar of Desther's house is pretty much empty. Nothing in here at all. Not a thing.

Oh, aside from the coffin standing on top of a marble pedestal in the middle of the room. You can only move up.

> open coffin
Using the key, you do just that. No members of the undead leap out and try to fang you which you find quite a disappointment.

> x coffin
Inside the coffin you find a comb which you decide to take with you.

> up
You move up.
You're standing at the top of a flight of steps which lead down into the darkness. At the side of you is a light switch. You can move north and down.

> north
You move north.
The kitchen of Desther's house is a pretty shoddy affair. It doesn't look like he's cleaned up in here in a long, long time. Lying on the floor, lying very still, is what appears to be a dead body. Aside from that there's the usual appliances you tend to find in a kitchen: oven, sink, fridge, etc. You can move south, west and northeast.

> ne
You move northeast.
You're in the entrance of Desther's house, a large open area with a statue of the owner in one corner and a series of doors leading off to the rest of the house. You can move south, up and southwest.

> up
You move up.
This hallway winds around the entire second floor of Desther's floor. Overhead hangs a chandelier which has been set on fire. While you're not sure if this is a good idea or not, it does add some much needed light to a seriously gloomy location. You can move west, down, southeast and northwest.

> west
You move west.
Ugh! This place looks like it hasn't been cleaned in years! It also looks (don't read the next bit if you're at all squeamish) that Desther doesn't bother using the toilet - instead he just finds a nice dry spot and does his business there. As such, the smell is just too unbearable. Claudia is here. You can only move east.

> ask claudia about anything
"Oh, look at the state of this hair. What a mess!"

> give comb to claudia
"Ah, that's better," says Claudia. She runs the comb through her ghostly hair a few times and sighs in delight. "I guess I can go now." She blows you a ghostly kiss and leaves via the closest wall.

> east
You move east.
This hallway winds around the entire second floor of Desther's floor. Overhead hangs a chandelier which has been set on fire. While you're not sure if this is a good idea or not, it does add some much needed light to a seriously gloomy location. You can move west, down, southeast and northwest.

> down
You move down.
You're in the entrance of Desther's house, a large open area with a statue of the owner in one corner and a series of doors leading off to the rest of the house. You can move south, up and southwest.

> south
The front porch of Desther's house is quite impressive. If you didn't know what a dump the inside was, you might well think someone with taste lived here. Desther is here. You can only move north. "Ah, well done," says Desther. "I see the ghosts have departed."

"What about the severed head in the oven?" you ask.

Desther waves that away. "Oh, just some neighbour of mine. Frightfully boring fellow. Now, what do I owe you for the pizza?"

"What, you just expect me to turn a blind eye to your brutal murder of an innocent neighbour?"

Desther pulls out a wad of bills. "Would £1,000 do the trick?"

Your conscience and your greed go to war. Briefly.

Very briefly.

"Call it £1,005 and never call me pizza face again and you've got a deal," you say.

Desther peels off the notes. "It's a deal, pi- my dear friend."

On the way home that night, you congratulate yourself on a job well done.